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Monkey Rating: 10

An Interview I lifted posted by Waffle Man on 11/12/02

Hey Freaks,
I know a lot of you aren't at all familiar with how the internet porn biz works (I barely understand it myself). Over the weekend I came across an interview that sheds light on this industry and sort of gives you an idea as to what's going on. The interview is with Gary Kremen, owner of Sex.com This guy was smart enough to register the name way back in 1994. A man buy the last name of Cohen was smart enough to figure out how to snag it and not let it go for nearly 8 years. What a story and what a son of a bitch.
From www.setgo.com (The Real Luke Ford)

On May 19, 1994, Gary Kremen registered with Internet Solutions the most valuable internet domain name Sex.com. Kremen got the name for free and without any official contract. Over a year later, however, he found that the name had been stolen from him by notorious felon Stephen Michael Cohen. Kremen sued to regain the name and eventually prevailed on 11/27/00.

It was a long and bitter struggle for Kremen who went through a string of lawyers until guided to victory by attorney Charles Carreon.

In 1998, Seth Warshavsky (ClubLove.com) and Ron Levi (Cybererotica.com) agreed to help fund Kremen's legal fight to regain the domain name Sex.com. After Warshavsky quickly dropped out of the deal, Levi kept paying to the eventual tune of either $10,000 or $150,000, depending on who you talk to, until he quit in disgust with Kremen's attorney of the time Joel Dichter.

Kremen next gave the case to a female attorney (Katie Deamer) who seemed intimidated by Cohen's crack legal team. She also appeared to be killing Kremen's case, which looked dead until Gary brought on Carreon. Though many, perhaps most, internet pornographers loathe Cohen, many of them did not think his legal team could be beat. They were wrong.

Kremen and Carreon have disputed Carreon's fee for winning the case. Charles says he deserves a piece of sex.com.

Cohen's a close friend of convicted crook Michael Milken. They spent time in jail together in Northern California and they talk on the phone several times a day. Stephen met his invaluable business partner Marshal Zolp, a con artist, at the same correctional facility.

Zolp runs stock scams out of Tijuana. He's wanted by the FBI and federal marshalls. American law enforcement can't get the Mexican authorities to cooperate in the handing over of Zolp. Marshal lives under aliases and the Mexican government is not concerned with American financial crimes.

Cohen got out jail first (in 1995). Zolp (who also uses the names James Powell, Werner Wassler and Frank Williams) did time in a halfway house where he created Sporting Houses Management. Zolp has talked about doing a similar brothel in Costa Rica for the fishing industry.

Cohen, a friend of Las Vegas gambling empressario Steve Wynn, owns all the companies connected to sex.com - YNATA, Sand Man, Ocean Fund International, Omnitech. None of them have real boards of directors and nobody else has ownership interest aside from Cohen. He made up the name Sir William Douglas. He read it somewhere and decided to use it. But the real man was never involved. Sand Man and Ocean Fund etc were established to hide Cohen's ownership of Sex.com.

Cohen has incredible energy. He sleeps little. Very crude but interesting say those who know him well. Marshall, a heavy drinker, is a consummate gentleman but Steve is a vulgarian. Ocean Fund International's much publicized offer to buy Caesars Palace in Las Vegas was a stock play, not a publicity ploy. Cohen owned stock in the corporation expected to buy Caesars, Starwood. He expected the stock in Starwood would plummet based on the news that Caesars was being bought by someone else and then Cohen would buy even more of the company.

From www.redherring.com 2/7/00

"In 1995, Mr. Cohen, who had been recently released from federal prison after serving an abbreviated 46-month sentence for bankruptcy fraud, false statements, and obstruction of justice, began his plan of deception to create his Internet company, according to the lawsuit, filed by an attorney for Gary Kremen.

"According to Mr. Kremen, Network Solutions granted him use of the sex.com domain name in 1994. Such names typically are valid for a two-year period and are renewable every two years at the discretion of the party using the name.

"Mr. Kremen claims that in 1995 Mr. Cohen fradulently wrote a letter to himself using letterhead with the name "Online Classifieds Inc.," the name of Mr. Kremen's business at the time. The letter stated that Mr. Kremen had been dismissed from his position at the company and that he no longer had rights to sex.com. The letter also stated that Mr. Cohen was authorized to take title of the sex.com name.

"At the bottom of the letter was the signature of President "Sharon Dimmick." Mr. Kremen, who still owned Online Classifieds at that time, insists his company never employed a Sharon Dimmick. The letter was sent to Network Solutions.

"In what should have been a red flag, the letter stated that Online Classifieds didn't even have an Internet connection. In other words, such a letter would be like Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) stating that Bill Gates doesn't have Windows on his personal computer.

"In any event, Network Solutions granted the name to Mr. Cohen. Ever since then, Mr. Kremen has been trying to wrestle back the sex.com name."


I spoke by phone Monday afternoon, 11/4/02, with sex.com owner Gary Kremen.

Gary: "There are some really mean, vindictive people in this industry. It seems that all those people do all day is knock the other people on forums such as Oprano or GFY (gofuckyourself.com). If there was a legal attack on the industry, everyone's running around like crazed kittens not working together. It's impossible to herd kittens. In other industries, they get cohesive around common external issues. Here there is so fragmented and there are so many past squabbles, it's bad for the common good. This sort of infighting is why the second temple [of the Jewish commonwealth 2000 years ago] fell. Because the Jews were fighting amongst themselves, the Romans to come in and conquered."

Duc: "Do you believe the new VISA regulations as part of a government-directed crackdown on the industry?"

Gary: "Maybe. It's sad if it is. Using a third party with the indirect effect of censoring legal speech is wrong. It's unfortunate that there's not a good unified industry response. It's kittens running around chasing their tails, while the coyotes eat them up and spit them out."

Duc: "What kind of job do you think the Free Speech Coalition does in representing your interests?"

Gary: "I don't think they are set up to focus on this fight - arcane but important payment regulations. They're great on obscenity and closely related issues. Here the industry needs a formal political action committee (PAC). It needs legislative protection rather than legal protection, which is has already thanks to people like the FSC. The FSC doesn't lobby congress or build political coalitions on an issue like Visa regulations.

"I am a founding member of refocused ASACP (Adult Sites Against Child Porn). Everyone wants us to do something about everything. Doing everything in the world would be insane mission creep that would be negative in effect. We should focus on getting rid of child porn. Child porn is illegal as well as immoral. The benefits to the industry in getting rid of it would be to deflect government interference. I think the best thing we could do on an effective level would be boycott any payment processor that have automatic processing for anything that could be used to enable child porn. Without money, most of these sites would be in trouble. This if certain major payment processors [such as ccBill] hypothetically did not check and periodically recheck every web site (by hand) using their services for child porn content or that their customer's site have child porn affiliates (thus receiving traffic from those with unclean hands), those payment processors should be boycotted, with their officers personally sued and jailed. Anyone using such a payment processing services that enables child porn is just as guilty as the processors itself.

"I am worried that tomorrow, Election Day, there might be a change in the balance of power not as favorable to the industry. Thus, the bad apples (whether consciously or not bad apples) should be tossed to keep unwarranted attention away from the law abiding, tax paying pornographer."

Duc: "Do you regard yourself as part of the XXX industry?"

Gary: "Yes, especially if you define the industry broadly. We're in the traffic industry, primarily adult. We don't make content or sell it but we bring qualified customers to those people."

Duc: "Why did you choose to get into the industry rather than rent or sell out the name sex.com?"

Gary: "That's an excellent question. I thought I could make more money. It shows how stupid I am. I think many of the issues that the adult industry faces are interesting. If people focus on these issues in a business manner rather than a crazy way, more money can be made. It's similar to the entertainment industry. When corporations came in, they figured out how to make true money. Paramount Pictures probably doesn't have the same fun that an independent movie producer has. Sad, but true. I'm having fun, at least some of the time."

Duc: "So you don't regret stepping in?"

Gary: "When people I don't even know blast me on forums like Oprano.com, it pisses me off and makes me depressed. I don't even know these people. Who's Hooper? What have I ever done to him? If he did not seem to have such a little dick, I would crush him like a bug, but he is not even worth the time to talk about.

"I feel sorry for Ron Levi. Everyone attacks the guy and it just makes him more defensive - it would make any normal person more defensive. As far as I know, he's a nice guy. (A long time ago, he and Seth sued me over sex.com). He keeps people such as Lee Noga and Kaiser motivated - he clearly recognized the value in people. The boards make him out to be a SOB. As far as I know, Ron's a good father, caring for his children greatly, a good employer and contributes to the community. He doesn't date flashy women. He's dating somebody nice, not a porn star like others.

"If we were making tefillin [Jewish religious articles], this would not happen to us. Would you go on a tefillin online board and talk about other people in the tefillin industry? Say that their girlfriends are fat and losers? They don't do that. That's so dysfunctional. We need industry therapy as much as we need a political action group [PAC]. We could use is a mass SWAT invasion of therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists; I volunteer to be the first analyzed."

Duc: "So are you dating the world's most beautiful women?"

Gary: "No, I'm not even getting ANY dates. As you know, I started Match.Com, the worlds largest dating service. I want a nice Jewish girl and I'm not finding any. I haven't found one nice Jewish girl in the entire industry. If you know one, ICQ me immediately."

Duc: "What role did Serge play in getting sex.com back to you?

Gary: "Serge was one of the first people who told me about a lot of Cohen's antics, his strategies and tactics. I'm going to see Serge and Sue this weekend in Oregon. He's been supportive, to the extent that Serge is supportive of anyone. He might rip me to shreds on the boards tomorrow. He has his opinions on people. Serge is very smart."

Duc: "What's going on with sex.com?"

Gary: "People are getting disgusted with certain weaknesses in the affiliate model. Many people think they're being shaved [not paid for all their traffic and signups]. A lot of people would rather be paid on a per-click basis than any other basis. People would rather buy traffic from us at fixed prices, with a cost, on average, of $10 per signup. We currently have 1347 customers.

"We break up traffic by country. If you are a US webmaster in an affiliate program, traffic from France doesn't help you because you can't convert it or usually get paid for it. Scams have been going on for years where people send traffic that is not convertible. If you want midget traffic from France, we can give you midget traffic from France seeking midget porn."

Duc: "When did you take over the operation of sex.com?"

Gary: "I got it back in October of 2001. I was working with SE Guru aka Daron Babbin. He moved on last October to New Frontier (NOOF). I hear he is doing a very good job there."

Duc: "How do you plan to develop sex.com?"

Gary: "We plan to add an entertainment aspect to it but we won't be selling content or creating content. We're good at convincing the mainstream to work with the adult. Peiple can create content or sell it 10,000 times better than me."

Duc: "You bridge between mainstream search engines and sex traffic?"

Gary: "Do you think mainstream search engines like Google want to have their sales force go call on facials sites? They worry about getting sued for hostile work environments, sexual harassment, etc.. They'd rather deal with adult site directly as little as possible while at the same time getting the money from the industry. It's better for them when they have an outside source they can trust to deal. We specialize in screening out the child porn, bestiality, scat, or rape sites - the illegal or immoral sites. We don't want to make money off that. Mainstream search engines don't want to either."

Duc: "How many books are in the works on you and the sex.com case?"

Gary: "Several. Most are independent journalists like you. About nine months ago, Sheri Singer Productions approached me about doing a TV movie on sex.com and the adult industry in general. I signed a deal with them in late September. They've hired a writer. Sheri Singer worked with Norman Lear and was the executive producer of the Phil Donahue show."

Kremen has received write-ups in numerous newspapers. Here is a sample:

Newsday 3/5/95

"Electronic cash will let the Internet take over TV," David Chaum, managing director of DigiCash, told a reporter. "Quote me."

Another gushing man crammed a card into Chaum's hand with the name of a San Francisco company that did not exist a year ago. It had to happen, he explained, because the whole world will need what he has to offer very, very soon.

"Classified online - it's the future," said Gary Kremen, president of Match.com. "It makes sense. Doesn't it?"

Atlanta Journal and Constitution 12/6/98:

Kevin Sinclair, who lives in a Silicon Valley suburb, is the lucky owner of http://www.computer.com, presumably one of the most valuable domain names on the World Wide Web. And now he wants to sell it for at least $500,000. So far the highest bidder has offered $300,000.

His associate representing him, Gary Kremen, insists Sinclair is not a speculator but that he planned to start an online computer store when he acquired the name in 1994. He quickly realized he did not have a shot in such a competitive market, even with the right address. So he left the working world to stay home with his children.

Kremen may be just the right guy to help him make a deal: Kremen was involved in the negotiations between Digital Equipment Corp. and Jack Marshall, who until earlier this year owned the address www.altavista.com. Digital, which owns the AltaVista search engine, paid Marshall $3 million to give the name up, reportedly the largest amount ever paid for a domain name.

San Jose Mercury News 2/9/99:

And often they fear ruining their maverick reputation. Such fear is keeping Gary Kremen, 35, from launching his fourth company, at least for now. "When you start a company, everyone knows it," he says. "It's made me a little bit gun-shy. It's a type of performance anxiety."

Among his ventures was the Web-based dating service Match.com, which was sold to Cendant Corp. for about $7 million in 1997. Currently, the San Francisco resident is advising several existing businesses, including one that puts advertising on golf driving ranges. What he calls his "risk profile" -- his tolerance for risk -- is "temporarily lower."

Why me? posted by Waffle Man on 11/08/02

Hello Monkey Men,
It's me Guy Flowers, man about town! Anyway, our editor, Waffle Man, made it a point to have all the reviewers (all two of us at the moment) delve into this chat pitter patter and try and create some fun.
Well, I tried. I really did, but you all know how Rodrigo is and how I can never get him off my mind. Below you'll find a couple of my chat sessions. Never again!


This first fellow had nothing on his mind but lust. Oh please, can we get a little more primative here?

XXX_huge_cock_n_me: i think i could where u form and let me c ur cock
guy_flowers_1969: wow, you sound like Rodrigo.
guy_flowers_1969: He was always so 'to the point'.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: what
guy_flowers_1969: Oh, I was talking about Rodrigo, my former latin lover.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: no i not him i just want u to know what i want
guy_flowers_1969: He broke my heart.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: sorry to hear that guy
guy_flowers_1969: How do you feel about relationships?
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: i like to have sex but honestly that is alllok
guy_flowers_1969: Well, I really want to just talk for a long while with you.
guy_flowers_1969: To figure things out, why Riodrigo left and so much more.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: i like to c what u look like or i dont talk nodisrepect i just like cing who i talk to ok
guy_flowers_1969: Well, my cam broke.
guy_flowers_1969: But let me give you a description
guy_flowers_1969: I'm about 5'4''
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: u dont have a pic eather right
guy_flowers_1969: 175 #'s
guy_flowers_1969: I'm 51 y.o.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: if u dont have a pic i gone sorry
guy_flowers_1969: Don't go please......
guy_flowers_1969: I need you to talk to me.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: no pic no taslk my moto sorry
guy_flowers_1969: Please
guy_flowers_1969: I'm crying over here.
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: sorry that my rule
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: sorry about that
guy_flowers_1969: No, we have something special here.
guy_flowers_1969: You and me
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: and what that
guy_flowers_1969: Our chemistry
XXX_a_huge_cock_n_me: no sorry bye
guy_flowers_1969: I really like the way you listen.

This second young fellow doesn't understand what it means to age as a man. Read on and see for yourself

XXX42003: a/s/l
XXX42003: 18/m/tx
guy_flowers_1969: sorry dear
XXX42003: lol
guy_flowers_1969: 48/m/San Diego
XXX42003: oh my
guy_flowers_1969: ??
XXX42003: oh my cat almost unpluged the com.
guy_flowers_1969: could be worse, my former lover Rodrigo almost stole mine.
guy_flowers_1969: the son of a bitch.
XXX42003: i need help
guy_flowers_1969: Ever have a latin lover that just breaks your heart?
guy_flowers_1969: Help?
guy_flowers_1969: hello?
XXX42003: there is this guy im seeing but i think he is just with me for my money but i really care about him. he say he really likes and cares about me ut i dont thinks so!
XXX42003: cuz asks me how much i make all the time
guy_flowers_1969: those bastards
guy_flowers_1969: how old are you?
XXX42003: how could i find out if he really cares about me!
XXX42003: 18
guy_flowers_1969: how can you really 'have' alot of money if you're only 18?
XXX42003: my parents are very weathly
guy_flowers_1969: ahhhh
guy_flowers_1969: well, how much do you have??
guy_flowers_1969: LOL
guy_flowers_1969: J/K
XXX42003: lol
guy_flowers_1969: listen, I've been in the floral business for over two decades, and I too have made quite a few dimes.
XXX42003: aww
XXX42003: what should i do
guy_flowers_1969: and sadly, you will always run across vulture men.
guy_flowers_1969: well, tell him you met a woman.
XXX42003: well i always wanted someone like him
guy_flowers_1969: someone that will take your money?
XXX42003: im never happy unless im with him
guy_flowers_1969: than keep your cash and CC close to you.
guy_flowers_1969: is he Latin?
XXX42003: well he asked me for money i said no, the he called my mom and she gave him a thousand
guy_flowers_1969: what's your mm's number??
guy_flowers_1969: tee-hee
XXX42003: i told not to do thta cuz if all he wants money he needs to live me alone
XXX42003: lol
guy_flowers_1969: true
guy_flowers_1969: hang on.....I need to get some cotton balls for my ass.
guy_flowers_1969: BRB
XXX42003: LOL
XXX42003: well he is never home, he is always gone in my car and always wants sex
dc842003: i had to give him my old car
guy_flowers_1969: back now
guy_flowers_1969: sorry
guy_flowers_1969: you ever have that problem with your bootie?
XXX42003: lol thats ok
XXX42003: no, what do you mean
guy_flowers_1969: like sometimes my bootie loosens up too much.
XXX42003: oh dear
guy_flowers_1969: well, that's Rodrigo for you.
guy_flowers_1969: anyway, what kind of car is it?
guy_flowers_1969: hello????
guy_flowers_1969: what kind of car is he constantly taking from you??
guy_flowers_1969: are you getting cotton balls too?
guy_flowers_1969: hello?

If It's Free It's For Me posted by Waffle Man on 11/08/02

Hey Everybody,

This is just another reminder for all of you to get on board the Monkey Train. For the time being it remains free, after that your ass will be coughing up a staggering $1.95 a year. I know, it's a lot, so sign your ass up now.

Who's Got Juice? posted by Waffle Man on 11/05/02

Falsehoods From LukeFord.com Regarding The Original LukeFord and PornRumors.com
Wanker Wang Writes: Pornrumors is dead. Redirected to some porn site. But regarding the 'fratboy approach', you hit the nail on the head. We're here to have fun and to mock and to dish it out. Everybody has a right to speak up on this site, not the huge hunk of made up garbage that Luke used to write about and got sued plenty o' times about. He did resurrect himself for a two week period on this site, and that was enough. He hates the industry yet can't keep away from it. We're actually amused by the industry and will write for it all the same. Regarding Felix's household bong chugging, I was present but have no idea if she was smoking narcotics. She told me she was smoking tobacco and that's good enough for me.
The O.G. Luke Ford is alive and well and can be read at www.setgo.com

Star Wars Nerds posted by Waffle Man on 11/05/02

I took four minutes out of my day to challenge some geeks in chat to a debate. These nerds are hateful of anything not like them. Sad, scary, and funny. Enjoy.

halapenyol: Any Star Trek fans here?
XXXdawankosko_Oo: no see cuz this is the star WARS room?
XXXme_nz: lol
XXXarr6: Yah! you must know Data... Right.
XXXXX_w_warrick_2000: You're stupid.
XXXXXrr6: if starwars is stupid get out of this room.
XXoner: no i'm just a transvest
halapenyol: Sorry, I can't find a Star Trek chat room.
XXoner: STOP.
halapenyol: I assumed that we're all fans anyway.
XXXXme_nz: thats cause there isnt one hala
halapenyol: Even though Star Trek is a better product.
XXXXwankosko_Oo: hala?
XXXXwankosko_Oo: oh k nevermind
XXoner: once i almost got interested in star trek
XXXnie: i like data and laforge and spock!
halapenyol: Well, it is.
XXoner: dont be so french
XXXXXwankosko_Oo: i have spock ears
halapenyol: plus, the homoerotic undertones in Star Wars is just too severe.
XXXoner: just shut the fuck up
XXXankosko_Oo: yeah actually only one its gay and annoying
XXXdawankosko_Oo: but you cant tell much
XXXdawankosko_Oo: lol
XXoner: the world doesnt evolve around you mr know it all or whatever the fuck you are JUST SHUT THE FUCK UPPP AHHHHHH!!!!
halapenyol: well, look at the light saber.
XXXarr6: Stoner get out of this room
XXXoner: starwars just gets BORING talking about it EVERYDAY
halapenyol: obviusly a penis illuminated.
XXXoner: so thats why no one does it
XXXXXwankosko_Oo: nav u cant make someone get out
XXXoner: YOU GET OUThalapenyol: and look at the way they hold it.
halapenyol: the relationships betwenn Obi Won and Luke makes it more so.

halapenyol: it's actually sad and disturbing.

XXoner: navarr get out of this room
halapenyol: You know who I'm talking about.

XXXoner: now
XXXoner: get out
halapenyol: or maybe you're just in the closet.

halapenyol: plus Star Trek has superior acting and storylines.
XXXankosko_Oo arches her eyebrow back at nat
XXoner: Oh. I think i will actually listen to your mexican ass.
XXoner: NO
XXoner: u get out

XXoner: now. u go. go away. u get out now.

XXoner: get out now.
XXoner: get out.
XXXXwankosko_Oo: u get out
XXoner: you are too homosexual for my liking

halapenyol: anyome notice how disturbed the Star Wars fans are as well?

XXXarr6: This is a StarWars room. If you wnat to talk about somthing else go and instant mesage them

halapenyol: Well it seems that I'll never find a truly intelligent Star Wars fan here that's willing to debate the superiority/indferiority of its product.

XXXme_nz: i need more food

XXXoner: sounds like a faggot croation i know

halapenyol: You're all too busy making passes at each other in desperation as a result of lacking true love.

XXX_diora_di_marano: LOL
XXXme_nz: lmao@ hala


halapenyol: Not to mention the fact that none of you are even remotley funny.

XXXXXiora_di_marano: HE IS SUCH A FAG
XXXXXiora_di_marano: I HATE HIM

halapenyol: are all of you nerds or just most of you?
XXXXme_nz: well hala you dont need to change


halapenyol: you are all horny nerds that'll never get laid.

halapenyol: I on the other hand do it Vulcan style everyday.

XXXXtom_309_01us: navarr6 welcome to the wonderful world of iggy hope you don't enjoy your stay
XXXarr6: Oh shut up you freak. you don't belong in this room
XXXner: OMG.
XXX_diora_di_marano: I know
XXX_diora_di_marano: I belong in the real world
XXXdiora_di_marano: But
XXXXa_diora_di_marano: I"M HERE
XXXX_diora_di_marano: YOU MOTHER FUCKER
XXXX_diora_di_marano: Dude
XXXXarr6: Fuck You to

Mental Giants posted by Waffle Man on 11/04/02

Two Very Intelligent Fellows Ponder The Rights Of Cats, Cows and Tomato Soup
halapenyol (07:56:31 AM): hello Mr.Man
XXXspain (07:12:08 AM): Hola
halapenyol (07:57:38 AM): I have to go to the F'n police station this morning.
halapenyol (07:58:03 AM): don't even know where the fuck it is.
halapenyol (07:58:07 AM): hey..........
halapenyol (07:58:18 AM): I got another funny story for you
halapenyol (07:59:09 AM): I was walking up my staircase this morning after having dropped XXX off at work.
XXXspain (07:14:24 AM): lol
halapenyol (07:59:53 AM): That cunt of a cow neighbor of mine has a bedroom window right in front of the staircase
halapenyol (08:00:30 AM): as I'm walking up I notice that she's standing to the window in a profile position
halapenyol (08:00:35 AM): NAKED
halapenyol (08:00:41 AM):
XXXspain (07:15:48 AM):
halapenyol (08:00:59 AM): she's so fat
XXXspain (07:16:09 AM): I thought you liked BBW
halapenyol (08:01:13 AM): I hate that BBW
halapenyol (08:01:23 AM): plus shes SSBBW
XXXspain (07:16:34 AM): Does she have a moustache?
XXXspain (07:16:53 AM): Maybe she is not a human.....but a trained BigFoot
halapenyol (08:01:59 AM): don't know, but she has huge floppy tits that hang over her belly like a female hippo.
XXXspain (07:17:17 AM): LMAO
halapenyol (08:02:26 AM): bigfoot....lol
XXXspain (07:17:43 AM): She's a bigfoot man...that XXggah just trained a bigfoot and dresses it as a woman
halapenyol (08:02:53 AM): man, she has huge fucking cow utters.
halapenyol (08:03:21 AM): dairy farmers are probably worried that she's going to put them out of business.
XXXspain (07:18:34 AM): lol
XXXspain (07:19:04 AM): I'm sitting here spilling tomato soup over my keyboard....damn what a mess
halapenyol (08:04:07 AM): lol
XXXspain (07:19:53 AM): last month I tossed a full can of coke over my keyboard
XXXspain (07:20:09 AM): I cleaned the fucker totally....removed ALL the keys....in random order

We Give Answers posted by Waffle Man on 10/31/02

We Here At Monkey Will Always Stop Whacking Off For A Minute In Order To Answer Your Questions Or Give Replys To Your Dumb Ass Statements

Your're so angry. Reading between the lines tells me that you would like us to review your celebrity site as well. No problem, send a pass to damon@adultmonkey.com
Exactly how am I kissing Mr. Skin's ass? His site is one of the funniest porn sites around, and it's obvious that it's 100% consumer driven. Why do you think Howard Stern gives this guy publicity? Well, obviously you don't know why, so I'll tell you: because Mr. Skin incorparates not only smut, but a certain style as well. How many sites have gone out of there way to to create a lingo that is all their own? Mr. Skin makes note of Mimi Rogers tits as "prime Hollywood real estate" or Nicole Kidman's snatch as a "firey red suprise"(or something like that). Are you this clever? No, just a pissy little man that can't stand to see someone else succeed.
Do you have a top 10 nude celebrity list on your site? Do you answer members questions on your site? I should note that Mr. Skin is one of maybe five that publishes member submitted questions.
You also bitched about the links. So fucking what if he has links.....what's wrong with that? What the fuck does a link have to do with the price of eggs, let alone a pay-site? He provides a product and does a superb job of doing it.
You need to take a step back and look at his site from a consumers point of view. Do you really think the average guy has time to search around the net for a nude pic of Madonna? No way.
Just try and do what he does. Maybe this will help your site. Remember, imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
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